Friday, May 3, 2013

One day...

One of the biggest myths that constrain us in unhappy patterns is this: “One day, everything will be different.” Whether this is in our careers, our relationships, our financial lives, or something else, we often carry this belief that one day, everything will be different.

We hope for that someday when we have the job we want, or the body we want, or the partner we want (or that our current partner will change), or the security we crave. On that day—and not before—we will be able to move forward with our lives. We postpone living, being happy, feeling good, for some distant day in which everything is changed to be what we want. 

Sure, it is a good thing to make positive changes in our lives. I am not suggesting that we stop moving forward in the direction of our dreams. But I am reminded that "life is what happens when we are making other plans." Can we be OK with where we are, even if we are working for change?

One of the things I sometimes tell clients is this: “There will never be a point in your life in which you have everything you want with perfect security.” I believe it is preferable to face a hard truth than to deny it. The reality is that craving for something different is rarely satisfied by having that thing. (Sure, there are exceptions, but if we have our needs of food, shelter and love basically met, then we are not one of the exceptions.) The question is not how do we get everything we want, but rather how do we engage our lives in the face of discontent?

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